The weight you were never meant to carry. Surrender isn't weakness — It's a discipline.
Nobody talks about how hard it is to surrender.
Not in theory. Not as a concept you nod at in a devotional. But in practice, in your home, in your body, in the quiet moments where everything in you wants to stay in control.
As ambitious women, we are trained to hold things together. We build, we plan, we execute. And for a long time, that capacity is what kept us safe. So when God places a man beside us and asks us to trust his leadership, something in us resists. Not because we don't love our husbands. But because letting go of control feels like giving up security.
Five years into marriage, I'm just now grasping it.
Not performing it. Grasping it.
And what surprised me is how much my body already knew what my mind was still fighting.
Your nervous system doesn't know the difference between the control you're gripping in your home and the control you're gripping in your hips, your shoulders, your breath. For Type A blood types especially, stress doesn't announce itself loudly. It settles in; cortisol runs high, digestion tightens, sleep becomes shallow. The body keeps score long before your mind is willing to admit there's a game being played.
This is why movement is not separate from the inner work. Yoga, for me, is where I practice surrender before I have to practice it anywhere else. The mat doesn't care how capable you are. It only asks you to release. And every time I choose to release there, I'm rehearsing something God has been asking of me all along.
Proverbs 3:5 doesn't say to trust God with most of it. It says, “Trust in ADONAI with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding.” Trust Him with all of it. Your health. Your home. Your marriage. The parts of your life you've quietly decided you can manage better on your own.
Some of the strongest women I know are the ones still learning how to stop holding everything together by force. That's not failure. That's faithfulness in process.
God never asked you to carry it all. He asked you to trust. And for many of us, that trust starts at home, with the man He placed beside us. Surrendering to your husband's leadership isn't losing yourself; it's finally putting down the weight you were never designed to hold alone.
If this is landing somewhere in you, I want you to know that the tension you feel in your body is often a reflection of what's happening in your life off the mat, off the plate, off the plan. That's the work we do inside Balcony People.
If you've been curious about what it looks like to address your health from the inside out, including the stress your body is absorbing without your permission, I'd love to connect. A consult is the best place to start. Book Here
Much Joy,
AA
A Balcony Person Building a Health Legacy
